(LESSON 4):-- Forming Habits Of Identity And Willpower (Sticking To Your Goals For Long Time)
In the real sense, there is a great difference between real world and theory, which is why whenever I write I try to make things vivid to differentiate between theoretical concepts from practical solution.
Yes! Often times we want to form or we already think we have formed a good habitual lifestyle but funny enough, before the end of the season we see ourselves going back to that bad habit we assumed we have abandoned, then why?
It is easy for us as humans to make a New Year resolution at the beginning of the New Year but, do we always stick to that resolution and maintain it? Actually, most of us do not.
I use to be a victim of such before now and I have realized that, before the quarterly part of the year I must have gone back to my earlier behavior which I wanted to get ride-of, then why?12
The reason being that, I lacked what I called “IDENTITY AND WILL-POWER HABIT”, now, if I may ask, what is your identity and will power habit?
Let me tell a little story about how to use this identity and willpower habit using myself as an illustration-----
I read NapoleoHill”s book; THE LAW OF SUCCESS and I came across a part that illustrated how remembering peoples name could be a huge stepping stone to mastering your habit and being a master of identity and will-power habit.
- Look at what remembering names of people you come across will teach you about habit
As a computer scientist, blogger and author, I do involved in free training for children and enlightening kids in post-primary schools about the benefit of ICT in this twenty first century world.
I started a new training within the first section of their first term in my locality involving some selected schools. This training was not to make money but to give out charity support for these kids, though the kids were advised to pay only a thousand naira as registration while the training is free, which does not worth it when it comes to training in ICT. This is to enable us pay for transport and fueling their generator. And one strange thing happened one day that made me realized the importance of “identity and will-power habit”, I truly identified myself before a female kid.
This kid was reluctant in paying her registration, when I asked if anybody never paid his/her registration fees she was reluctant to identify herself and I immediately called her by name. I called her name; “Mary Egbo” she was startled and stood up by surprise because she could not imagine me knowing her name by the second day of attending the training.
Do you know what she asked me? Uncle, how do you know my name? I told her I know every trainee name and she was surprise and to my greatest amazement she went out and came in with her registration and was registered.
Imagine, she was with her registration and find it difficult to register may be, she is not yet accustomed or friendly with what we are doing but, immediately I called her by name, that friendliness developed and she became free and joined us fully.
I was filled with joy having identified the power of identity and will-power habit at that moment.
This is what this story could teach any of us about habit ---- to believe in new identity, you have to prove it.
Using identity and will-power habit to build long lasting habits
To build a long lasting habit you have to focus on creating a new identity first, the reason being that, your current behavior is just a reflection of your current identity.
Look at what you do to change your behavior for good; start believing new things about yourself.
We often say this to friends, I want to lose weight or, I want to be a writer good! All of that are good ideas and friends may welcome that but you lack one thing to achieve that which is, being specific. You have to be specific about what you really want. Instead say:
I want to lose 30 pounds weight or, I want to start writing 20,000 words a day in order to become a writer.
NOTE THIS: I want to lose weight is based on performance and appearance behavior which is good if you are already doing a behavior. And if you want to develop a particular behavior you have to use identity and will power behavior.
(Image that shows the difference between identity–based goals and performance and appearance–based goals)
Your identity is the interior part of the diagram and it constitutes your behavior change. If you change your identity it will become easy for you to cultivate new behavior. Your identity speaks much of whom you are so; if you change your identity it becomes easier to change your action.
The reason why it becomes difficult to change is because we often stick to performance and appearance goals without changing our identity. We often want to achieve results without changing our identity, while it should be the other way around.
Instructions for sustained success
Coming to changing your beliefs, I do not think is hard as you may think. Here are two steps you can use to do that:
1. You have to decide the type of person you want to be
2. With a small win you have to prove it to yourself
Note this; the goal is not to become successful at the moment but to start from small wins which will help you become the type of person who can achieve big.
Let us take an example and illustrate, if you want to be strong devote your time to exercise regularly and eventually you will step down to the type of person you want to be where you will be using performance and appearance habit for having grown from small to merger.
How to use identity-based habit in real life
For instance: you want to lose weight:
Identity: try to be the kind of person who exercise at least three times in a week
Small win: buy a jumping rope, tomorrow get to the field and jump 30 steps, next jump 40 steps from there increase your win gradually.
For instance: you want to be a better friend:
Identity: always stay in touch
Small win: start by calling one friend every Sunday, assuming you repeat the same people every 4 months you will likely stay close to 16 old friends again.
For instance: you want to be a writer:
Identity: try to be the person who writes at least 800 words every day
Small win: make sure a paragraph never miss you each day this week.
Then, what is your identity?
Becoming the type of person you have wanted to be does not depend on results but strategically on becoming the type of person who could achieve the type of thing you want to achieve in life.
The result is what should come latter, do not focus on the result because, results never come without working out for the examination through a process of in-depth study which guarantees that your end point should be a success then the result.
So, try building the habit now the result will come after.
No doubt, with these ideas, you should be well engaged to make change in your life and stick to healthier habitual and moral lifestyle for the long term.
And my final two points should be:
1. Knowledge without action is entirely useless. You are now well equipped with tools to use and change your life, now it is time to do it. I know you have a lot of goals that are important to you, then, use these ideas to make it a reality.
2. Doing my best for our community is my priority so; we are here to support you. I write two articles for a small community each week, Monday and Thursday, and these small communities are people who are to getting better, living healthier, and making the world a better place.
I do my best to help them achieve their goals, and this is my part to play, and I will always like to do the same for you.
So, if you have questions, you can always contact me at http://www.anyi-nature.com/newsletter.php
I know, I do not have it all figured out, but my best is channeled towards the tiny action that accumulates to greatness with time, as you follow me along the way.
I am pleased to help you if there is anything I can do for you. I am here to help however I can.
Small Decisions, Mighty Results
Current Articles (Habitual & Moral-lifestyles)(LESSON 1):-- Why Do People Find it Difficult to Stick to Good Moral Habits?
(LESSON 2):-- Avoiding The Common Mistake Most People Make
(LESSON 3):-- The Science Behind How Your Habits Work
(LESSON 4):-- Forming Habits Of Identity And Willpower (Sticking To Your Goals For Long Time)
(LESSON 5):-- Tiny Actions (Best Way To Start A New Habit)
(LESSON 6):-- Are You Afraid You Have Failed? Look At How To Fit A New Habit Into Your Life
(LESSON 7):-- How To Break A Bad Habit (And Build Lasting Good Habits)
(LESSON 8):-- How You Can Make Your Future Habits Easy
(LESSON 9):-- The Habits Scorecard: This Simple Exercise Will Help You Discover The Habits You Should Change.
(Lesson 10):-- Creating a Chain Reaction of Good Habits Using the “Domino Effect”
(LESSON 11):-- Mastering Your Memory. How keen is Your Observation?
(LESSON 12):-- All Knowledge is But Memory; Do You Think Habit is Memory?
(LESSON 13):-- How to Improve Your “Interest in Memory.”
(LESSON 14):-- Reason Why People Who Want to be Rich Fail to Become Rich
(LESSON 15):-- When The Smart Is Dumb: Difference Between Academic Intelligence & Emotional Life.
(LESSON 16):-- Two Qualities without Which any Man May Become a Great Leader at Any Level of Life
Articles - 2019 (Habitual & Moral-lifestyles)(LESSON 1):--HOW TO FORM HABIT OF SAVING MORE MONEY
(LESSON 2):-- How To Become An Efficient Leader Taking Your Initiative To Great Level By Believing In Yourself
(LESSON 3):-- How To Profit By Imagination
(LESSON 4):-- The Six Enemies Which Ride Millions To Failure Without Being Discovered
(LESSON 5):-- Poverty, The Richest Experience That Can Come To a Boy.
(LESSON 6):-- What Do You Understand By an ATTRACTIVE Personality?
(LESSON 7):--- Haters and Critics: How to Deal with People Judging You and Your Work by James Clear
(LESSON 8):--- How To Rise Above The “They Say” Class And Become An Accurate Thinker ACCURATE THOUGHT
(LESSON 9):-- Summary Of “ACCURATE THOUGHT & DESIRE” And The Principles Involved.
(LESSON 10):-- What Are “Suggestions & Auto-suggestions” And How They Affect Your Career And Or Talent
(LESSON 11):-- The Value Of “Reminding Yourself What To Do” (Auto-suggestion) In Achieving Your Career & Or Talent.
(LESSON 12):-- How To Harness And Control Your Habit Instead Of Becoming a Slave To It.
(LESSON 13):--- How Our Environment Influences Our Lives Either Negatively Or Positively.
(LESSON 14):--- The Magic Key To Success, What Is This Magic Key?
(LESSON 15):-- The Enemy You Must Conquer Before You Can Become a Person Of ACTION
(LESSON 16):-- FAILURE; a Temporary Defeat, Not a Downfall
(LESSON 17):-- How To Develop The Best That Is In a Person
(LESSON 18):--- The Spirit Of Making Money; How Would You Feel If You Get Rich Today?
(LESSON 19):-- How To Persuade Somebody To Do Something You Want
(LESSON 20):-- Successful People Are Not Always Talented, Why Is Talent Alone Not Enough?
(LESSON 21):-- What Does It Take To Be Successful?
(LESSON 22):-- What Is The Greatest Obstacle To Success?
(LESSON 23):-- How To Lift Your Talent To Its Highest Level
(LESSON 24):-- What Do You Think Carries People To The Top Of Their Career And Talent?
(LESSON 25):--- How To Fire-Up Your Passion, If You Lack The Energy You Desired
(LESSON 26):-- 8 Ways To Make FOCUS Your Friend
(LESSON 27):-- PREPARATION: What Happens When You Do, Or Do Not Get Prepared And Six Preparation Principles
(LESSON 28):-- What To Do When You Make a Mistake
(LESSON 29): PERSEVERANCE:-- Developing “Staying Power” In Your Career And Or Talent Pursuit
(LESSON 30):-- Five Enemies Of Perseverance (Staying Power), And How To Eliminate Them.
(LESSON 31):-- To Be Able To Sustain Your Talent, Then Take The Following Steps:
(LESSON 32):-- DAILY ROUTINE RECOMMENDED BY EXPERTS FOR PEAK PRODUCTION
(LESSON 33):-- HOW YOU CAN HUMBLY ASK YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS
(LESSON 34):-- HOW TO FIX FAILURE AND THE 3 PHASES (stages) IN LIFE AND WORK
(LESSON 35):-- HOW TO DROP THE HABIT OF PROCRASTINATION
(LESSON 36):-- HOW TO CREATE A SUPPORTIVE AND COMFORTABLE WORK ENVIRONMENT
(Lesson 37):-- 6 Criteria To Know If You Are Doing A Good Job
(LESSON 38):-- The Hidden Danger Of Comparing Yourself To Others
(LESSON 49):-- THE REASON WHY WE WANT THINGS WE DO NOT NEED --- AND HERE IS WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.
(LESSON 50):-- How To Figure Out What To Focus On In Life. (By Experts)
(LESSON 51):-- The Impact Of (Positive Thinking) On Your Work, And Your Life
(LESSON 52):-- Is There Any Reason To Embrace Sudden Change In Life?
(LESSON 53):-- How To Exhibit Courage And Live Without Regrets.
(LESSON 54):-- PRIDE…. Problems With Pride And How To Overcome Them
(LESSON 55):--- Ways to Tell Whether a Relationship is Positive Or Negative (Generalized).
(LESSON 56):-- Five Signs of a Solid Relationship
(LESSON 57):-- Twelve Ways to Keep Yourself Charged Up
(LESSON 58):-- When to Hire Help For Your Business
(LESSON 59):-- A Five Minutes Warm-Up For Peak Performance
(LESSON 60):-- What Is Your Definite Chief Aim? Do You Have an Objective In Life?
(LESSON 61):-- How To Build Self-Confidence In Your Career Job & Talent
(LESSON 62):-- How Fear From Social Heredity Can Rob-Off Your Talent/Career Job.
(LESSON 63):-- How Imagination Affects All You Do Towards Attaining Your Definite Chief Aim
(LESSON 64):-- How Enthusiasm Will Affect Your Career And Talent
(LESSON 65):--- How To Possess The Quality Of SEFL-CONTROL In Your Career & Talent
(LESSON 66):-- Forms Of SELF-CONTROL That Causes More Grief
(LESSON 67):-- BENEFITS OF WORKING MORE THAN PAID FOR
(LESSON 68):-- The “thought” which does more than gather, organize and combine facts